Sunday 7 September 2008

The Ordinary Sims: The Beginning

[Some images can be clicked to enlarge. (Actually only the first two. After that I found a better way of posting them.)]

A while back I mentioned that I would be starting a series of updates involving The Sims 2. Well, that time has come, so here is what I had in mind:

A guy called Fermun had an idea on the Juvenile Comedy forums a while ago. His idea was to make Sims households wherein the characters were forum members, and basically he would leave them to do whatever it is Sims do when they are not being controlled, and he documented it. The results were hilarious.

I asked him if he'd mind me using the idea to make households consisting of me and my friends, purely for the entertainment factor, he said I could, so I will do exactly that. I'll be posting the updates on this Blog whenever I have the time to play a new update. I have no idea if this will work out well, and I'd do well to make it half as funny as the original, but what the hell - I have nothing better to do.

The updates will be done in Sims-time days, one at a time. So I will play a household, watch it for 24 hours of ingame time (30 - 40mins, I think) and take screenshots of any interesting things that happen. Occasionally I will send them on a night out or something similar, for variation, we'll just see how it goes really.

Let me introduce you to the first household:

The Tobbingtons


From left to right: James, Jack(Me), Carl, Ross and Mark.

To create the housemates, I randomised until I was relatively happy with an appearance, then changed hair, glasses, facial hair and sometimes clothes to suit the person. I gave each Sim their counterpart's real Zodiac sign (this affects personality), and I chose two turn-ons and one turn-off for each Sim. I handed out random aspirations.

Just for the record, I took individual screenshots of the housemates before I realised the family screen (above) would render them obsolete. On my first attempt at Ross, he yawned and looked away. I let him recover and tried again, and this happened:











I have no idea what he is doing, but Mark may be just out of shot.

James, on the other hand, spent the entire time on the 'Create a Family' screen acting entirely fed up. He clearly had better things to be doing with his time.

Day One

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The Tobbingtons arrive at their new home. Unlike most people - who would have a look around their new house - they just stand outside. James and Ross talk about being friends, Me and Mark play slaps while Carl stares at my ear with murderous intent.

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Ross and James happily discuss... what is that? A Doomsday device?... They discuss something. Meanwhile, Me and Carl play catch, excluding Mark. Up to this point neither of us had managed to catch the ball once. Carl is about to drop the ball again. But he's a good sport, right?

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Wrong. Carl takes out his frustration by throwing the ball at me as hard as he can. Mark doesn't seem to give a shit.

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Aw shucks, he didn't mean to! Who else wants to play?

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KABLAMOW!
Note the expression on Carl's face. Was this another accident?

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Almost 3 hours after arriving at our new house, Me, Ross and James decide to venture inside. We don't look around. Instead, we just make something to eat. I was first in the house so I nab the only chair we possess, this is one of many problems in our house, see if you can spot the biggest as we go along. Mark and Carl decide to stay outside and play Punch Me - Punch You, a game that doesn't deviate far from its title.

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Me and Ross finish eating at the same time. I show off my impressively fast metabolism; Ross, meanwhile, stares down James as he eats his sandwich.

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The Tobbingtons have some visitors!

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Hello there, Jason Greenman! I see you've brought your wife--

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WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!? Seriously, I hope these two never have kids.

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When visitors come, Sims are supposed to go out and greet them. The Tobbingtons do things differently. As you can see here, absolutely nobody is talking to anyone else. The family aren't even talking amongst themselves. The plant lady rang the doorbell several times, but we chose to ignore it. Great hospitality, guys!

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"Hey, Carl. Erm, nice coat. Been doing some indecent exposure, have we? No, no, I don't need to see. I'm just gonna head over this way for a while."

The only clothes I set were the casual everyday clothes. This game seems to know Carl very well.

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Mark doesn't appreciate Carl's bodily functions properly. If Mark wants to stand in the bathroom, ain't nobody gonna tell him otherwise.

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Our visitors leave, disheartened. Nobody greeted them during their stay, they were here for over an hour.

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Carl makes some food, along with the ever-eating Ross. James reads a book on his bed, and I ponder my hatred for Mark.

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James talks to me about his favourite subject - himself. Mark eats a TV Dinner.

This Gypsie has been outside for a while. She keeps ringing the doorbell but no-one feels like answering.

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Mark takes the trash out after his meal. Ross worryingly takes this opportunity to tickle him.
When Ross is finished, Mark begins a game of Punch Me - Punch You with Carl. He delivers 3 playful jabs to Carl's arm. Now it's Carl's turn to retaliate.

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Oh shiiiiit!

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Carl's kind of a dick. I hope everyone has learned by now not to play games with him.

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My screenshot button-pressing finger wasn't quite fast enough. But Ross just outright pelted Carl in the face with a water balloon. Look away, kids. This could get nasty.

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After a manic chase around the house, Carl throws a balloon with the force and accuracy of an anti-vehicle sniper round. Ross gets knocked flat on his ass. I'd also be willing to guess that Carl's payback is not yet over. Hell hath no fury like a hobo scorned.

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James likes his TV Dinners black - Like his soul.

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The time is approximately 18:00. Ross has just gone inside after his incident with Carl. Carl stands outside at the corner of the house, and stares at the wall. This is the opposite side of the house to the road. All that surrounds him are trees. He contemplates his hatred of Ross.

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Yep. He sure hates Ross.

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For those of you who guessed our dilemma earlier, well done. If you didn't, then let me explain. The house has one bed and no sofa. Sims cannot sleep conventionally on the floor and the family cannot afford any beds or sofas. I intervened and have given Ross and James jobs, which start in the morning. But first - will they get through the night? Ross has taken the only bed and gone to sleep. James is the first to fall. He chooses his spot and passes out, I glance down for a moment then go inside. I don't have the patience for this kind of tomfoolery.

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7 and a half hours of standing in a corner and hating Ross has pooped out Carl. 1:50am and he too passes out. Passing out is one of Carl's fears, so he loses morale. During his time in the corner, Carl alternated between hating Ross and thinking about finding a treasure map. He's a complicated fella.

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Mark makes a dash for the bookcase, presumably to find some literature to help him stay awake, he fails.

3 of the 4 without a bed have passed out. Obviously the 4th one is made of sterner stuff. Who is that again? Oh, yeah, it's Me!

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Oh... I didn't even finish my 3am poptart.

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Look who's awake and fresh as a daisy! Can you spot the other housemates? Just after this picture the paperboy saw this sight, and did not give a shit about the body by his postbox. He's just a man doing his job.

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What's up, Ross? Can't get at the table to eat my poptart? Maybe you should have thought about that before taking the only bed!

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James is awake and pooping. Carl is asleep. In his corner. Outside. In the snow.

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Ross heads off to his first day of work.

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As Day One ends, Carl wakes up and complains that he needs the toilet. Sims are perfectly capable of going themselves, but I think he wants me to install one in his corner. He doesn't seem to care about the snow. He's spent 14 hours in that corner and his pervert coat is plenty warm enough.

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